


Just add water let me go

by trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Basically I wanted to explore what would have happened if Tommy died in the explosion, Cause I kind of kill him, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Explosions, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, I might continue this but I don't know, Opps?, Platonic Relationships, President Toby Smith | Tubbo, Sort Of, The L'Manburg Explosion, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit Friendship, Toby Smith | Tubbo Angst, Toby Smith | Tubbo Misses TommyInnit, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Wilbur Soot, or well, very little comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:07:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28577235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once/pseuds/trying_to_spell_both_our_names_at_once
Summary: The dust and ash coated the air and Tubbo coughed as he stumbled through it, eyes watering as he spun around, looking for the familiar flash of red and white. It was supposed to be a good day. They had won. Schlatt was dead. Tubbo was president. Everything was supposed to be okay.As Tubbo stares at the dead body of his best friend, he realizes that nothing will ever be okay again.
Relationships: Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 14
Kudos: 410





	Just add water let me go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently watching the festival stream and I am very terrified but anyways have this super sad story that I wrote at 3am on my notes app last night for some reason

The dust and ash coated the air and Tubbo coughed as he stumbled through it, eyes watering as he spun around, looking for the familiar flash of red and white. 

It was supposed to be a good day. They had won. Schlatt was dead. Tubbo was president. Everything was supposed to be okay. 

But then L’Manburg was blown to pieces. Wilbur blew it all up. And techno was firing off fireworks again, and Tubbo could feel his throat closing up, his vision swimming as he remembered one of them hitting his chest, the agonizingly slow death as he choked on the smell of his own burnt flesh. 

No. He couldn't spiral now. He needed to find Tommy. Tommy would know what to do, Tommy always knew what to do. Tubbo just needed to find him and everything would be okay. 

When things went wrong it was Tommy who always pulled them out of it, who delivered a moving speech and rallied the fire under them. When things went wrong Tommy was the one to step forwards and put things back together again. 

Tubbo didn't know how to do that. Tubbo didn't know how to fix this. He was president now, and he knew that people would be looking to him for guidance, but Tubbo was lost. The smoke was thick in the air, he was struggling to stay in the moment, and he couldn't see Tommy anywhere. 

"Tommy!" He screamed out, spinning and blinking past the tears in his eyes. He stumbled over the uneven ground, Marburg nothing but a hole now. He bites back a sob. He needs Tommy. 

Tommy would hold his hand and keep him grounded. Tommy would tell him to stop crying in that soft panicked voice he put on every time Tubbo was upset and would wipe his tears and joke around until Tubbo was laughing. Tommy would pull him close and promise that nothing bad would ever happen again. 

"Tommy!" Tubbo screams, searching for anyone through the dust. He sees movement up ahead and stumbles towards it. 

"Tubbo?" It's Niki, Eret by her side, both of them supporting each other's weight. Niki’s got blood running down her temple and Eret had a nasty looking burn on their leg. 

"Have you seen Tommy?" Is the first thing that falls out of his mouth. He winces a bit at the panicked sound of his voice. "Uh, are you guys okay? Can I help?" 

"We're fine," Eret said, their deep voice sounding strained. "We haven't seen Tommy. You’re the first person we've come across. We heard shouting up ahead, the others are probably there." 

"Oh thank God," Tubbo slumped a bit, exhaustion hitting him hard. Tommy was probably there. Tommy would help. 

"Come on," Niki said gently. "Are you hurt?" 

"I don’t think so no," Tubbo shook his head. Everything was sore but nothing stood out to him so he figured he was pretty okay. They stumbled up the hill together. There was a flap of air above them and Tubbo looked up, blinking as Phil swooped down from the sky, wings flapping behind him. When did he get there? Tubbo’s first day as president kind of sucked. 

"Tubbo!" Phil said, landing behind him and pulling him into a tight hug. Tubbo blinked in shock, a bit unsure where the random affection came from. Phil and him were close, the dude was practically his father, but random hugs weren't really their thing. 

He figures everything just blew up, so maybe a hug was allowed. 

"Phil," he greeted. "What are you doing here? Have you seen Tommy?" 

"I joined the serve maybe an hour ago, it’s been a bit chaotic if I'm being honest mate." Phil let out a humorless chuckle. 

"Tell me about it," Niki muttered under her breath. 

"Everyone else is up ahead. I set out to find those who were missing. So far just you three and Tommy. Techno’s planning something I think, he's sort of holding us hostage? Its complicated. He won't start until you and Tommy are there." 

"Jesus," Tubbo ran a hand down his face, fighting the urge to start crying again. That probably wasn't good. Tubbo doesn't think he'll survive another surprise. Especially not one that Techno had planned. "I just want to find Tommy." 

Something twists in Phil's face as a hand grips Tubbo’s shoulder and squeezes. 

"I know kid," he whispered. "He won't be too far. I’m sure we'll hear him swearing up a storm in a couple of seconds." 

Tubbo let out a wet laugh, swiping at his eyes to get rid of the tears. He was president and he needed to be strong. He needed to find Tommy; he couldn't break yet. Once all this was over and he had Tommy by his side he could break down. 

Tommy wouldn't judge him; Tommy wouldn't think him weak for crying. Tommy would just hold him close and awkwardly comfort him. Tubbo just needed to find him first and make sure he was okay. 

Of course he was okay. Tubbo wouldn't give him any other choice. 

"You guys go ahead," Phil nodded to Niki and Eret. "Tubbo and I will search for Tommy. I think he might be in the next crater over, Dream said he saw him running from that direction before everything exploded." 

"We're coming with you," Niki squared her shoulders, voice leaving no room for disagreement. "I want to make sure he's okay." 

Tubbo sometimes forgot that Niki and Tommy were friends if he was being honest. He wasn't sure why, Tommy's explosive (bad word) personality mixed well with her laid back one. He could coax the loudness out of her and she soothed over his rough edges. She was like an older sister to him, to Tubbo too. Tubbo was really glad she was coming with them. 

"Alright," Phil allowed. "This way then." 

He pointed to the left side of the crater they were in, and the four of them set off. Phil was first, leading the way and pointing out the safest path. Tubbo was not far behind him, heart racing as he got closer to the last place Tommy was seen. Eret and Niki trailed behind, both limping and looking a little worse for wear. 

Phil was the first to peak over the side of the crater, taking a step forwards before he stopped so suddenly that Tubbo ran into him. 

"What the hell Phil?" Tubbo grumbled, stumbling back a bit before moving to the side to get around him. 

"No, no," Phil whispered, and Tubbo shot him a weird look before looking at the crater in front of him. Lying in the middle was a familiar figure with sandy blonde hair that was almost black with ash, his shit dirty and bloodied. He was leaning against a piece of rubble, head hanging down. Tubbo felt relief run through him. It was Tommy. Tommy was there. 

"Tommy!" He shouted, running forwards as fast as he could. 

"Tubbo no!" Phil cried out, reaching for him but Tubbo was faster, stumbling down the incline, sliding past the jagged rocks and kicking up a storm of dust. 

He stumbled to the ground, quickly righting himself as he raced to his friends’ side, sliding to a stop and falling to his knees by Tommy's side. 

"Tommy! Thank God," Tubbo let out a small laugh. "You had me worried sick." 

He put a hand on Tommy's shoulder, waiting for his friend to look up at him with a grin and a joke on the tip of his tongue. Tubbo was grinning, giddy relief filling him. And Tommy- Tommy didn't move. 

Tubbo felt the smile drop off his lips, worry once again racing through him. Was he hurt? He did look a little roughed up, just like the rest of them were. A little bit of his bright white shirt was stained with blood, but not a lot that Tubbo could see at this angle. Maybe he hit his head? 

"Tommy?" He asked, shaking his friend's shoulder a bit. Tommy still didn't move, his head hanging with his chin pressed again his chest. Passed out he guessed. Tubbo shook him a bit harder. "Hey, wake up Tommy. Come on Big T, don't leave me hanging here." 

Tommy still didn't move, and Tubbo felt his breathing pick up a bit. Was Tommy hurt worse than he thought he was? Why wasn't he waking up? Tommy would normally be up by now, grinning and insisting he was okay and too strong to be hurt by a simple blast. 

"Tommy?" Tubbo hated how small his voice was. Everything was fine. Tommy would wake up and they'd figure out what was wrong and get him some help. Bad was good at healing right? They could go to him. "Tommy wake up." 

He shook Tommy harder, but Tommy didn't react at all, head lolling back and forth with the shakes. Tubbo grabbed his face, gently tapping it in an effort to make him wake up. 

"Wake up," he demanded, his voice grim. An order. One of his first orders as president actually. "Come on Tommy this bit isn't funny. Wake up." 

Tommy didn't move. Tubbo heard people walking up behind him but paid them no mind. 

"Wake up," he said again, tears starting to cloud his vision. Everything was fine. He found Tommy and everything was going to be fine. "Wake up Tommy. Wake up! 

He shoved Tommy hard. Instead of startling awake and catching himself before he fell, Tommy fell to the side, no resistance to the shove at all. Tommy just slouched to the side. Far enough off the rock for Tubbo to see how the bright white fabric of his shirt was completely soaked through with blood on the side. 

"No," Tubbo whispered, a rushing noise in his head growing louder. "No, no, no, surely not. Surely not. Tommy?" 

He crawled over to his friend, rolling him onto his back. Tommy's head stared up at the sky. His eyes were half-open, the normally bright blue eyes dull and unseeing. 

Tubbo feels the world screech to a stop. 

"Tommy?" He whispers again, a shaky hand cupping his friend’s cold cheek. This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening. His eyes search his best friends for any hint of the overwhelming life that normally infected him. 

There was nothing. Dull blue eyes stared back into his, his face and body slack. 

Everything was suddenly completely silent, every single atom of his skin burning as the rushing noise filled his head, mind blocking everything else out as he stared into his friend’s eyes, hands gently holding his dead best friends face. 

Tommy was here. Tommy was dead. 

Everything snapped back into place, noise suddenly filtering back in with a rush as he opened his mouth and started to scream. 

It was a guttural noise, one that Tubbo didn't even know he could produce, his vocal cords tearing. It was a scream that came from deep inside his chest, a vocal embodiment of the bone-deep grief that struck through him like an arrow. 

"No," He sobbed, the sound ripping from his chest as he pulled Tommy closer, finger digging into cold skin and he pulled his friend's limp body into his lap, cradling it with a gentleness he reserved only for his best friend. "No, Tommy- Tommy! No this isn't happening. No no no no no." 

He sobs out again, his head falling against Tommy chest, tears blurring his vision. His arm wrapped around Tommy's torso, the blood on his side still warm and gooey, sticking to his fingers. 

"Wake up," he pleaded. "Oh god Tommy no. Please no not you Tommy. You can't leave me. You're not allowed. Come back. Come back!" 

He was screaming again, begging Tommy to come back, his desperate words falling on dead unhearing ears. 

"Don't leave me," he whispered, hands cupping Tommy cheek, blood smearing across his pale ashy skin. "You can't- you can't! No no no." 

Hands were suddenly on his shoulder, pulling him away from Tommy. He heard the deep rumble of someone's voice pleading with him but he can't focus on it. 

They were dragging him away from Tommy, away from his best friend, his rock, his soulmate in all sense of the world. It was him and Tommy against the word. He wasn't sure he could take the world on without Tommy with him. 

His mind wasn't working, a constant loop of _he's dead, oh my God he's dead Tommy no_ playing over and over again. All he knows is that he can't leave Tommy alone. 

Tommy hated being alone. Tubbo couldn't leave him alone. 

He flailed around, arms and legs kicking as he squirmed against the firm arms pulling him back. 

"Let go of me!" He screamed, panicked words falling from his mouth as fast as the tears ran down his cheeks. "Let me go! No! Tommy!" 

He slammed his head back, hitting the person behind him, the grip loosening enough for him to slip out of it, nearly falling on his face as he threw himself next to Tommy again, gathering him in his arms and burying his face into Tommy's neck, sobs tearing out of his chest as he fisted his hand in Tommy's shirt and refused to let go. 

Tommy hated being alone. Tommy died alone. Tubbo wasn't leaving his side, he refused to, he couldn't. 

"Come back," Tubbo whispered, voice raw and scratchy. "Please Tommy come back. I can’t- I can't do this without you. You can't leave me. You're not allowed. Come back. Please, please no this can't be real." 

Hes shaking, and he thinks he might fall into pieces any second. 

"I love you," he chokes out. He never told Tommy that enough. Only said it once or twice and mostly as a joke. Did Tommy know? Did he know that Tubbo loved him more than anything else? That Tommy was his best friend, his brother? " I love you Tommy. I love you so much. You have to say it back. Please say it back." 

Tommy didn't say it back. Tommy didn't say anything. Tommy was dead. 

The hands were back on his shoulders, gently tugging at him. 

"No," he sobbed, holding Tommy tighter. If he moved, if he opened his eyes and saw Tommy lying there dead it would be real. If he looked around and saw everyone else grieving it meant that it happened. Tubbo won't accept it, can't accept it. "No no no no no." 

"Tubbo," It's Phil behind him, his own voice thick with tears as his hands gently pry him away from the corpse. "Tubbo." 

Tubbo finds himself suddenly exhausted as all the fight leaves his body. He goes completely limp and Phil tugs him away, Tommy falling away from him and lying on the dirty ground once again. 

Tubbo stares at him, at the dirt and blood smeared across his body, the way his head was turned towards him, eyes unseeing and blood from Tubbo’s hand smeared across his cheek. It was weird to see him look so lifeless, without a smile on his face or a twinkle in his eyes. 

Phil tugs him against his chest, arms wrapping around him and tucking his head into the shoulder so that he isn't staring at Tommy anymore. A part of Tubbo wants to rip his head away and continue to stare. The other part of him is beyond grateful that he doesn't have to look anymore. 

He curls up in Phil's arms and lets himself sob, his entire body shaking with the effort. Phil doesn't say anything, simply holds him and rubs soothing circles into his back with shaking hands, occasionally shushing him but making no moves to actually stop him crying. 

"Its okay Tubbo," he whispers. "Everything is going to be okay." 

"No it isn't," he whispers, his voice practically silent. His throat is sore and he can't manage more than a whimper. "Nothing is ever going to be okay again." 

It was the truth. How could anything ever be okay with Tommy? How was Tubbo going to move on? Fuck Tommy was his everything. His best friend who practically never left his side. Who was annoying as shit but brought so much joy to Tubbo’s life. There was a reason he was called fucking clingy. When Tommy was in exile Tubbo nearly went insane, and that was with constant visits too. 

He was never going to hear Tommy laugh again. Never going to have to listen to one of his stupid jokes or have to get him out of trouble again. He would never see his horrible posture, see his wonky smile, or tease him. They would never sit side by side and watch the sun go down, their music discs playing softly behind them. 

Tommy was never coming back. Tubbo isn't sure he'll be able to move on. 

Eventually his tears run out and Tubbo slips into what almost felt like unconsciousness. He thinks his brain just shuts down, the gears stopping turning along with his entire world. 

He goes limp in Phil's arms, barely protesting when the older man stands up and carries him somewhere else, gently laying him down on a soft bed, a blanket tucking around him. 

"Get some sleep Tubbo, we’ll talk more tomorrow," Phil whispers, his own voice cracked and ruined. Tubbo closes his eyes, too tired to protest. 

He slips into nothingness seconds later. He's never been more grateful for anything in his life. 

He dreams of Tommy lying alone in the crater, injured and alone, screaming Tubbo’s name and begging him to come help him. He dreams of Tommy dying shivering and scared in the hole of the nation he built, bombs being set off by the man he idolized and looked up to. He dreams of Tommy begging Tubbo to come save him, to come sit with him so he won't be alone when he goes. 

He wakes up with a strangled scream and images of Tommy's broken dead body still imprinted on his eyelids. 

No one heard him. No one comes to comfort him. 

He remembers nights spent startled awake from nightmares after the execution. He remembers how Tommy specifically moved his bed into the same room so that when Tubbo woke up from a nightmare Tommy would always be there. He remembers how Tommy would wordlessly slip under the covers with him and would hold him until Tubbo stopped shaking and fell back asleep. 

He pauses, childishly waiting for Tommy's half-asleep voice to call out his name, waiting for the soft pad of his feet coming close to him. He waits for the bed to dip and Tommy to climb in beside him and hold him close. 

It never happens. He doesn't fall asleep again.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this random mess. I got the idea really early in the morning and couldn't get it out of my head, so I wrote it all at like 3am so it's a bit of a mess but I still liked it enough to post it lol. I might do another one on a different characters perspective but eh, we'll see lol. Thank you all for reading and I hope you guys have a lovely day!! <3


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